A Fitting Italian Proverb...

"Chi magia solo, muore da solo"

-

"He who eats alone, dies alone"

I feel that this Italian proverb could be open to many interpretations, but for me it illustrates a key fact about eating disorders. 

We cannot live life to the fullest if we do not share it with others, and food and eating are one of the most important aspects of life, not only as a necessity for staying alive but also as a social event - a way to get to know each-other and a precious occasion to create shared memories and experiences.

I know that many ED sufferers find it extremely difficult to eat with others, which is something that I thankfully have not had much of a problem with, but I just want to put it out there how important this aspect of life is. To live a full and happy life, we have to share our lives with those around us, and eating is a large part of this. 

This proverb struck a chord with me because my ED was what caused my to loose many of my closest friends. Don't let the same happen to you - share something important. Sharing is caring and all that jazz - eating can be a happy experience when shared with those you love, even if you don't believe it now, some day you will recover and reclaim this birth-right!

 In no way am I saying that you will die from this, (heaven forbid!), I am just asking you to let people in; for you may find it's the best thing you've ever done.

Yours,

G x

Delectably-Different Pancake Fillings

I suppose I should have posted this before Shrove Tuesday instead of after it, but I am of the opinion that pancakes should be eaten at any time of the year, and are even better when savory.
In the past I have filled mine with smoked salmon, spinach and boursan, or basil, olives, sundried tomatoes and feta. This year I decided to make a variation on a childhood favourite - baked beans, cheese and broccoli. Don't knock it until you have tried it, especially this "posh" home-made version with home-baked beans and compté cheese.
My sweet pancake this year was filled with strawberries and balsamic vinegar (and now you are all thinking I am mad...), which is one of those flavour combinations like chilli and chocolate, which sounds a little strange but works like heaven. The slight sweetness of the vinegar compliments the strawberries perfectly, and the acidic bitterness cuts through the sugar and lifts this dish to a whole new level.

So, without further ado, here are two recipes to keep you eating pancakes all year round!

Home-Baked Beans (From BBC good food)

In the original recipe for this it was served on baked potatoes. I'm sure it would also be fantastic on toast or with a cooked breakfast!

Ingredients (serves 2)

• 1/2 carrot, diced
• 1 short celery stick, diced
• 2 marmande tomatoes (or ordinary large ones if these are not available - I have only ever seen them in Waitrose)
• 1/2 400g can haricot beans, drained
• 1tsp paprika
• 1tsp Worcestershire sauce
• 2tbsp chopped chives
• 2 x 30g compte cheese
• 1tbsp olive oil
• enough purple sprouting (my preference) or tenderstem broccoli for two.

Method

1. Heat the oil in a large saucepan and cook the celery and carrot for 10 minutes untill softened. 
2. Meanwhile, cook your broccoli and cut into smallish pieces. 
3. Add the beans, tomatoes and paprika and cook gently for another 5 minutes. Here the original recipe says to add 50ml of water, but I found that with the tomatoes the mixture was wet enough already. 
4. Add the Worcestershire sauce and cook for a further 5 minutes, before stirring in the cut up broccoli and chives. Season and keep warm whilst you make your pancakes.
5. Scoop onto the middle of your pancakes and divide the cheese in piles between the two.
6. Enjoy!

Strawberries with balsamic vinegar (courtesy of Nigel Slater's "Real Fast Puddings")

Here I will quote exactly what my dear Nigel says, for nobody can put it better than he does.

"...It has a heavenly fragrance, deeply sweet and rich, and is my favourite way of all to eat strawberries... the vinegar is especially good for perking up strawberries that are not yet ripe...

...Remove the stalks and leaves, cut large berries in half and put them in a bowl. Add a little sugar, perhaps 2 tablespoons per 450g. Set aside for 25 minutes or so (an hour would be better), until the strawberries have released some of their juices to form a light syrup with the sugar. Add the balsamic vinegar. A tablespoon to each 450g"

• Spoon onto the pancakes making sure you do not waste any of the sweet-vinegary liquid (which when eaten on its own can taste a little sour, but soaked into a pancake as a sauce is delicious).
• Prepare to be amazed!

Happy Belated Pancake Day!

Yours,

The Anxious Foodie x

G's Get-Up-And-Go-Breakfast-Bars

So, I have recently (dangerously) rediscovered my love of baking, and last night I had an overwhelming urge to make something oaty. Not satisfied with the recipes I could find on the internet - as much for the reason that I had a limited range of ingredients as that I didn't like the look of any of them - I decided to risk my chances by developing my own recipe, inspired by one by the foodie love-of-my-life, Nigel Slater, that was featured on his recent Christmas series.
I find it easier to justify my baking a lot of the time by baking cakes that can be eaten for breakfast, or in the case of this recipe, flapjacky-granola-breakfasty-bars. Failing that, I will bake homemade dog biscuits, take my cupcakes into school, or send them with my Mother to work to share with her colleagues. I don't feel bad about this recipe however, as it is packed with good-for-the-heart oats, low GI banana and fresh clementine. Miss out the chocolate if you like, but it does add that extra little bit of yum!

G's Get-Up-And-Go-Breakfast-Bars

Makes 12

Ingredients

(The mixture is quite large so you way want to make half at a time, and then combine it in the baking tray.)

• 200g butter 
• 6tbsp golden syrup
• 190g demerera sugar
• 360g porridge oats
• 150g chopped chewy black cavendish banana
• 50g chopped mixed nuts
• zest of 2 clementines and juice of 1
• 100g dark orange flavoured

Method

1. Pre-heat your oven to 140C fan/160C conventional and grease a rectangular baking dish.
2. Melt the butter, sugar and syrup in a pan.
3. Mix the chopped banana, nuts, oats, clementine zest and clementine juice. Add to the pan with the syrup mix and coat thoroughly. 
4. Pour the mixture into your baking tray and bake in the oven for 45-40 mins (less if you prefer it to be more of a flapjack than a granola bar - softer and melt in the mouth rather than chewy and crumbly), or untill golden and slightly firm to the touch.
5. Leave to cool for at least half an hour before cutting into 12 bars and removing from the tray.
6. Next, melt your chocolate in a bowl over a pan of simmering water, taking care not to get any water in the chocolate or let the bowl touch the water's surface.  
7. Drizzle your chocolate on to your bars or dip the bars in the melted chocolate, and place the bars of a baking sheet lined with grease-proof paper.
8. Place the bars in the fridge to let the chocolate set for at least 30-49 minutes, before serving at room temperature as a tasty breakfast treat with some fruit of your choice.  
9. These should keep in an air-tight container for up to 1 week.

Enjoy!

Yours,

The Anxious Foodie <3

A Thousand Splendid Suns

A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini

  

A Thousand Splendid Suns is the most horrifically compulsive book I have ever read.  I say horrifically because what compelled me to read on was the exact same force that made me want to scream, cry and wail in anger - or crawl into a hole lamenting the fate of human kind.

The novel, by Khaled Hosseini, follows two women as they live through marriage and the Taliban rule in Afghanistan, over a time period spanning four decades. Full of loss, grief and passion the book conveys the growing sense of hopelessness for the female sex under an oppressive regime, whilst  creating the strongest emotional ties between character and reader possible.

A magnificent feat of research and knowledge, burrowing deep beneath the skin of this terrifying system of rule and the people it tyrannised, Hosseini's second gem of a novel glints from amongst the second rate tales of politics, culture and romance available, bringing with it a breath of - if tinged with pain and sorrow - crisp, clean fresh air. 

Time Travel

Inspired by The Time Traveler's Wife, by Audrey Niffenegger.

Time Travel

When I travel it fees like pins and needles in my hands and feet, slowly expanding and consuming my vital organs until there's a lurch inside my head , and - POP! - I'm there.

The feeling takes a while to subside, like a tsunami engulfing the shore of a quiet coastal village. But when it goes, the adrenaline sets in, and suddenly I'm flying through the night, fleeing an invisible force, hormones rushing through my veins like fighter jets.

When I stop I catch my breath, heaving through my lungs and gasping for air. It might be the middle of February in a frozen over car park, snow gathering in the pot holes like candy floss in plastic buckets. It might be the end of June, the sun setting after a warm, fuzzy day of sun-lounging and water fights for the neighborhood children.

Sometimes I close my eyes and collect my thoughts, other I just run - my legs pumping so hard they seem to outrun my brain. I run to forget; I run to collect. I pursue my life as it forms infront of me, but so far away.

I think of my wife, sitting at home, waiting my the last spot she saw me, wishing I was different - wishing she had a choice not to love me. Wanting a warm, comforting embrace that would not end in a fading heart-beat and a pile of my freshly laundered clothes.

Sometimes we argue -for  I have no choice in this matter either. How can she not understand that if I could stay, I would compel the wills of the Gods to be so with all of my might.

I fade but I come back, although there will always be that faint possibility that I will just melt away, never to be formed again. 

My Heaven

Inspired by The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

My Heaven

 

My Heaven smells of books and clean sheets, and when it snows the sun's rays catch on the flakes like car head lamps.

Everyday I cook and eat perfect food - fresh, crisp and delicate.

I live in a house like the ones in Greenwich Village, The Big Apple. Red brick, green door, black window-frames. Leafy green trees line the street and my neighbors are always smiling. 

The city is a cross between London and New York - vibrant city streets teaming with life and different cultural influences, all mixed up and making a cacophony of interest and intrigue. 

Every turn harbors a new secret to be discovered, and new facts to immerse myself in, sinking deeper and deeper.

When I speak I drift effortlessly from one language to another, merging into the lives of the natives and travelling with ease from country to country.

Everyday I lose myself - everyday I find myself.